• Melanie Feldman

A Story from One of Our Adopting Families..

My husband, Peter, and I tried since 2006 to naturally build a family, unfortunately this just wasn’t meant to be for us. In 2009 we decided to look into adoption and registered with Adoption by Choice in 2010. In 2011 we adopted our beautiful baby girl Luna and registered again with our adoption agency in 2012. We’ve been on the wait list for more than three years now. I sigh loudly every time I think about it. It is just heartbreaking, since our daughter asks us almost every single day, “When will I have a brother or sister. Why isn’t God listening, I pray every day for a brother or sister”. It just breaks my heart that I can’t make her wish come true.

WHAT I CALL FOR & WHY So looking at things or options that might change our wait time I came back to the same thing over and over. Occasionally I look at the Canada Adopts! Website and look at people’s profiles. I love/hate looking at them. How long will they be on the list? What do they have that we don’t? I can tell you right now the one thing that they do have is the FREEDOM TO POST THEIR PROFILE ONLINE.

Alberta currently doesn’t allow parents in waiting to post anything online. And I wonder why? What is different in Ontario and British Columbia, that those families are allowed to post their profiles online and we in Alberta are not allowed. I’m honestly not sure. No one can give me a straight answer. All I get is, “it’s a Government of Alberta decision.”

And when I phoned the minister of Human Services I got a reply it is a matter of privacy. Then I have another good question for them…. the Alberta Government has a website where they have pictures and postings of children they wish to place and find permanent homes for…..why would this be any different for adoptive families who are wishing to build their family??

How would it help us? Hopefully it would cut down the wait time. That would be the ultimate goal. However, anything that helps people to understand what adoption is in the modern day is a positive step for adoption.

As an example, when I started to search online, “Adoption Canada”, the Canada Adopts! website comes up. I take a look and you see a great site that has some amazing profiles on it and great information about adopting in Canada. If I were a birth mom, I would like to view some of these profiles at home, while I’m waiting for friend at a coffee shop, on the bus or anywhere I am. Online is a more convenient way to look at these profiles than carrying around a bunch of paper copies. Don’t get me wrong, I love our profile, it’s gorgeous!

Our social worker said they are losing birth parents who are able to go on Canada Adopts and look at profiles- because it’s so easy…and it’s right at their fingertips-for a birth parent why wouldn’t they look at the website and profiles-before they even have to talk to a social worker!! They are dealing with an unwanted pregnancy and have so many things to consider. It would be so much easier for them to do their research online. I can only imagine what a big step it must be to phone an adoption agency and request a meeting. And then to actually go to this meeting. It would be so much more convenient for them to research at home first.

I THINK IT IS TIME FOR ALBERTA TO GET MODERN!! The more information that’s out there for birthparents, parents in waiting and adoptive families, the better for everyone. And realistically birth parents these days do everything online, so why not choose the adoptive parents for their child online. I still think prospective adoptive families should be listed with government regulated adoption agencies, however give the birth parents the freedom to do their research online, AND make the rules in Alberta the same as in Ontario and British Columbia.


Please write your local MLA and make them aware of this issue. The more people will know about this, the sooner changes will be made. Feel free to copy this letter above and make it yours, make yourself heard!

I told my story to CBC radio last week as well. This is an article that is now available on their website. Please check it out for more information.


thank you for your help,

Judith Kustermans


Adoption By Choice

3115 12th St N.E, 250, Calgary, Alberta T2E 7J2

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